Champion persuade by-self: getting people watch behavioral dance to new tunes

Waqas Umer Malik

As entrepreneur Derek Sivers said, “Don’t try to make everyone happy. Make your true fans happy.”

People resist change imposed from the top-down, but embrace change they help create. Guiding this process, rather than enforcing it, makes change stick. Embody a participation and involvement approach: highlighting inconsistencies, asking thoughtful questions, and making small requests.

These methods don’t coerce change. Instead, they encourage people to challenge their own beliefs and actions, easing into new habits over time. This aligns with Kotter and Schlesinger’s theory that involving people lowers resistance by giving them influence over the change. As Lao Tzu stated, “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

Champion persuade by-self: getting people watch behavioral dance to new tunes — Lao Tzu

People need self-reflection to move forward. Driving their own change promotes the necessary mindset shift. Author Leo Babauta noted, “Change happens in increments. You get better one tiny habit at a time.” Rather than commanding transformation, you guide people through gradual, voluntary steps.

“A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” This quote from 18th century poet Alexander Pope rings true today. Directives from authorities often fail to create lasting behavior change because people resent being told what to do. But what if, instead of commanding change, we could persuade people to change their own behavior? Social scientists have identified techniques that tap into human psychology to do just that as:

Show Discrepancies, pointing out gaps between people’s thoughts and actions can motivate change. For example, ask a young person resisting stay-at-home orders what they would want an elderly grandparent to do. Chances are, they would want their loved one to stay home and stay safe. This double standard creates tension people want to resolve by aligning their attitudes and behaviors.

Thailand’s Ministry of Health used this technique in an anti-smoking campaign. Rather than lecture about dangers, they had children ask smokers for a light. When refused, the kids handed a note reading “You worry about me…But why not about yourself?” Calls to quit-smoking hotlines jumped over 60%. Smokers recognized their hypocrisy and took steps to reconcile it.

Raise Pondering Queries, Questions engage people in a way statements cannot. If you tell someone “Drunk driving is murder,” their instinct is to defend themselves. But asking “Do you think drunk driving is dangerous?” makes them justify their answer. Now, they have taken ownership of the viewpoint, making it harder to then act inconsistently. During COVID-19, questions like “How would you feel if your loved ones got sick because you didn’t stay home?” could elicit more thoughtful responses than directives. When people persuade themselves, change follows.

Ask for Less, Dramatic change often provokes backlash. Asking for too much too fast falls on deaf ears. But small asks followed by larger requests can work. A doctor wanted her obese patient drinking 3 liters of soda daily to quit. Knowing he would refuse, she first asked him to cut back to 2 liters. After he succeeded, she asked him to reduce to 1 liter, then none.

Though not perfect, he lost substantial weight through gradual reduction. Officials responding to crises naturally want immediate, sweeping transformations. But dialing down initial expectations helps. Setting an end date, then extending it, introduces change in phases. We adapt to restrictions better when they ramp up versus hitting all at once.

Rather than bombarding with facts, we can tap into human psychology and gently guide people to persuade themselves. Highlighting inconsistencies, asking thoughtful questions, and making small requests precede larger change. As Benjamin Franklin said, “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” So involve people in their own persuasion, and lasting change will follow.

The philosophical contribution by Kotter and Schlesinger assert that this participation and involvement approach succeeds where authoritarian methods fail. People accept changes they create themselves. Guiding this process makes change stick, as opposed to dictating it. Involvement is key to driving change by tapping human psychology instead of commanding change, we can persuade people to willingly adopt new behaviors

. Do you think, it’s enough! Then how can we inspire people to make positive changes in their lives? Share your thoughts!

Waqas Umer Malik is a highly accomplished and results-driven Management & Research Consultant with a proven track record of driving organizational success. With over 10 years of experience, Mr. Waqas has honed expertise in managing executives and academia towards peak performance and sustainable growth.
Having partnered with diverse global patrons across management and academia, Mr. Waqas possesses a unique ability to identify opportunities for improvement, streamline operations, and develop robust leadership strategies. Recognized for exceptional interpersonal skills, Mr. Waqas is adept at coaching scholars at all levels, enhancing their capabilities and nurturing a culture of research & innovation. Through dynamic workshops and tailored training sessions, Mr. Waqas equips participants with the tools and insights needed to thrive in today’s rapidly evolving research landscape.

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