While every crime deserves serious attention and every victim deserves justice, reducing these complex incidents to a battle between men and women creates a dangerous misunderstanding. Crimes do not happen in isolation. They emerge from a society shaped by many powerful forces including patriarchy, caste, family expectations, social reproduction, economic interests, and rigid ideas about gender. If these deeper realities are ignored, public discussion becomes limited to blaming one gender while overlooking the structures that continue to influence people’s lives.
The recent Ketan Agarwal case has once again brought these questions to the forefront. Although the legal investigation is still continuing and the facts will ultimately be determined by the courts, the public response has followed a familiar pattern. Social media has been flooded with emotional reactions, heated debates, and sweeping conclusions about men and women. Discussions on men’s rights, gender justice, matrimonial laws, and the demand for greater legal protection for men have become more visible than ever before.
However, this moment also offers an opportunity to step back and ask a larger question. Instead of focusing only on the crime itself, what if we also examined the conditions that allow such crimes to emerge? Understanding the social environment behind individual incidents helps us move beyond emotional reactions and towards meaningful solutions.
One noticeable feature of recent discussions is the apparent reversal of traditional gender roles in public imagination. For decades, conversations around gender based violence largely focused on women as victims and men as perpetrators because this reflected the overwhelming pattern seen in society. Today, when a woman is accused of committing a serious crime against a man, the incident receives extraordinary public attention precisely because it appears unusual. This sense of surprise fuels public curiosity and generates widespread engagement.
Digital platforms play a significant role in shaping this response. Social media algorithms are designed to promote content that attracts strong emotional reactions. Stories that shock people, challenge existing beliefs, or appear unexpected often receive greater visibility than routine events. As millions of users engage with such content, the algorithms amplify it further, creating the impression that these cases represent a much larger social reality than they actually do.
This phenomenon is not unique to gender related crimes. It reflects a broader pattern in media sociology. There is a famous saying that illustrates this idea. If a dog bites a man, it is rarely considered news because it happens often enough to be viewed as ordinary. But if a man bites a dog, it immediately becomes headline news because it is unusual and unexpected. News organisations naturally give greater attention to events that break familiar patterns. Digital platforms have intensified this tendency by rewarding content that generates outrage, surprise, and emotional engagement.
As a result, exceptional incidents often dominate public conversations, while everyday structural problems gradually fade into the background. This does not mean that unusual crimes are less important. On the contrary, they deserve thorough investigation and justice. The problem arises when these exceptional cases begin to define our entire understanding of society.
This is particularly important when discussing gender violence in India. Every year, thousands of women continue to face domestic violence, dowry related abuse, sexual harassment, and other forms of violence. Many of these incidents receive limited public attention despite their frequency. They rarely become national debates because they have become normalised through repeated occurrence. Society has unfortunately reached a point where such crimes no longer generate the same level of shock as rare and unexpected cases.
Government data reflects this continuing reality. More than 4.4 lakh crimes against women are reported every year in India. Among these, cruelty by husbands or relatives remains one of the largest categories. Thousands of dowry deaths continue to occur annually. At the same time, many cases of violence against women are never reported because survivors fear social stigma, family pressure, threats, or lengthy legal processes. Others withdraw their complaints due to intimidation or pressure from their families or communities. These numbers remind us that systemic violence against women remains a serious social challenge that cannot be ignored simply because a few high profile cases involving male victims dominate public discussion.
At the same time, acknowledging this reality should never mean ignoring crimes against men. Men who experience violence, abuse, emotional harassment, or legal misuse deserve equal dignity, support, and justice. Their suffering should not be dismissed merely because they belong to a gender traditionally viewed as more powerful. Every victim matters, regardless of gender. The challenge is to create a society that can recognise both realities at the same time without allowing one to erase the other.
Unfortunately, online debates often move in the opposite direction. Instead of encouraging careful discussion, they create a false choice between supporting men or supporting women. Every new incident quickly turns into another round of arguments where one group highlights crimes against men while another responds by listing crimes against women. This constant competition over victimhood distracts society from addressing the deeper social structures that continue to produce violence across genders.
Justice should never become a contest between men and women. It should begin with recognising every victim, understanding every form of violence, and examining the larger forces that continue to shape these tragedies. Only then can society move beyond emotional reactions and begin addressing the real causes that lie beneath the headlines.
The deeper question, therefore, is not whether men or women suffer more. The real question is why these crimes continue to occur despite decades of legal reforms, awareness campaigns, and public debate. Looking at recent cases only through the lens of gender prevents us from seeing the many social forces that shape people’s choices, relationships, and actions. Individual crimes may appear to involve only a few people, but they often emerge from a much larger social environment that influences families, marriages, and expectations.
One of the strongest forces behind this environment is patriarchy. Patriarchy is often misunderstood as a system that affects only women. In reality, it imposes rigid expectations on both men and women, although the consequences may differ. Women have historically faced discrimination, restrictions on their freedom, unequal access to education and employment, violence within homes, and limited control over their own lives. These are structural realities that continue to exist in many parts of the country despite legal protections.
At the same time, patriarchy also creates rigid expectations for men. Society often expects men to be financially successful, emotionally strong, and capable of supporting an entire family. They are frequently discouraged from expressing vulnerability or seeking emotional support. Many grow up believing that asking for help is a sign of weakness. During marital disputes or personal crises, these expectations can create severe emotional stress, isolation, and mental health challenges. Therefore, understanding patriarchy requires recognising that it creates different forms of pressure for different genders instead of assuming that it benefits every man equally.
Marriage in India also carries meanings that go far beyond the relationship between two individuals. In many communities, marriage continues to serve as a mechanism for preserving caste identity, protecting family honour, maintaining inheritance, and safeguarding social status. Families often treat marriage as an institution through which wealth, reputation, and community identity are preserved across generations. This means that decisions surrounding marriage are frequently influenced by collective family interests rather than the personal wishes of the individuals involved.
These broader social pressures become especially visible when relationships challenge existing social expectations. Families may fear losing their social standing, damaging their reputation within the community, or disrupting long established networks of caste and kinship. Such fears can intensify conflicts that might otherwise have remained private disagreements. While these pressures can never justify violence or crime, they help explain why certain disputes become so emotionally charged and difficult to resolve.
This is where the concept of endogamy becomes important. Endogamy refers to the practice of marrying within one’s own caste or community. Although many people view marriage simply as a personal choice, social scientists have long argued that it also functions as a way of maintaining existing social hierarchies. Dr .Bhimrao Ramji Ambedkar explained that endogamy forms the foundation through which the caste system reproduces itself across generations. By encouraging marriages within the same community, caste identities remain intact and social boundaries continue to be reinforced.
When viewed through this perspective, several contemporary disputes surrounding marriage reveal a much more complicated picture than what is usually presented on social media. Questions of social status, caste identity, family approval, economic interests, and honour often become deeply intertwined. Personal relationships are therefore influenced not only by individual emotions but also by powerful social institutions that shape expectations long before a conflict begins.
The recent Ketan Agarwal case has also generated discussions around these broader social influences. Public conversations have pointed towards issues relating to family expectations, social standing, and the pressures surrounding marriage. Whatever the final findings of the investigation may be, it is important to recognise that crimes rarely emerge from a single cause. They are often the result of multiple interacting social forces that gradually create conditions where conflicts intensify. Understanding these forces does not reduce the responsibility of those who commit crimes. Rather, it helps society identify the deeper problems that require long term solutions.
Another important issue that has gained attention is the demand for a National Commission for Men. Recent incidents have led many people to argue that male victims require greater institutional recognition and support. This discussion has become more prominent because many believe that men facing emotional abuse, false accusations, prolonged matrimonial disputes, or domestic violence often lack adequate institutional mechanisms for assistance.
There are legitimate reasons why this demand deserves careful consideration. Many men hesitate to report abuse because of social stigma. Traditional ideas about masculinity often discourage them from speaking openly about emotional distress or victimisation. Mental health concerns among men frequently remain hidden until they reach serious levels. Long legal battles involving matrimonial disputes can also create severe financial and emotional burdens. These challenges indicate that there is a need for stronger counselling services, legal guidance, mental health support, and institutional mechanisms that are accessible to male victims.
At the same time, this discussion must remain balanced. Expanding protection for men should not mean overlooking the structural discrimination and violence that women continue to experience. The existence of male victims does not erase the reality that millions of women still face domestic violence, dowry related abuse, workplace harassment, sexual violence, and other forms of gender based discrimination. Recognising one vulnerable group should never require denying the suffering of another.
This balance is perhaps the most difficult aspect of the present public debate. Social media discussions often encourage people to choose one side. Some argue that existing legal systems favour women excessively, while others respond by highlighting continuing violence against women. Both discussions contain elements that deserve attention, but neither provides the complete picture. Public policy should not be shaped by online outrage or emotional reactions to individual cases alone. It should be guided by evidence, careful research, and an understanding of the broader social realities that affect people across genders.
The goal should not be to replace one narrative with another. Instead of moving from a society that ignored women to one that ignores men, India needs institutions capable of protecting every individual facing violence, abuse, coercion, or injustice. Justice becomes meaningful only when it expands its protection without creating new forms of exclusion.
The increasing influence of digital media has made this challenge even more difficult. Social media algorithms are designed to maximise engagement rather than encourage thoughtful discussion. Content that creates anger, fear, shock, or emotional reactions is promoted more aggressively because it keeps people engaged for longer periods. As a result, exceptional criminal cases often dominate public conversations, while discussions about long term structural reforms receive far less attention.
This creates a cycle of polarisation. Every new incident is immediately interpreted through the lens of existing ideological positions. One group presents the case as evidence that women have become dangerous and that men are the new victims of society. Another group responds by arguing that crimes against women remain far more widespread and therefore discussions about male victims distract attention from larger issues. Instead of encouraging careful analysis, both sides often become trapped in a contest over whose suffering deserves greater recognition.
This approach benefits nobody. It prevents society from asking the more difficult questions that actually require attention. Why do relationships increasingly end in extreme violence? Why do families continue to exercise such strong control over the personal choices of adults? Why do social expectations surrounding marriage continue to create intense emotional and financial pressures? Why do many victims, regardless of gender, hesitate to seek help until situations become unbearable? These are the questions that deserve greater public attention.
The answer does not lie in framing every discussion as a conflict between men and women. It lies in recognising that several structural forces continue to shape people’s lives. Patriarchy, rigid gender roles, caste based social organisation, endogamy, family honour, economic interests, and social expectations all interact with one another. Together, they create pressures that affect both men and women in different ways. Unless these deeper forces are addressed, individual criminal cases will continue to emerge despite legal reforms.
This also means that reforms must move beyond focusing on only one section of society. Every victim of violence deserves access to justice irrespective of gender. Women who face domestic violence, sexual assault, dowry related abuse, or harassment should receive timely protection and effective legal remedies. Men facing abuse, emotional harassment, false accusations, or severe mental health challenges should also have access to counselling, legal assistance, and institutional support without fear of stigma or ridicule.
Strengthening due process is equally important. Every allegation must be investigated fairly and every accused person must receive a fair trial. Justice cannot depend on public opinion, social media campaigns, or emotional narratives. Courts and investigative agencies must rely on evidence while ensuring that victims receive protection and that innocent people are not wrongly punished. Public confidence in the justice system grows only when legal institutions are seen as impartial and transparent.
Mental health must also become a central part of public policy. Emotional distress, family conflict, prolonged legal disputes, and social isolation affect people across genders. Accessible counselling services, crisis intervention, community support systems, and greater awareness about mental health can prevent many situations from escalating into irreversible tragedies. Seeking psychological help should be treated as a sign of responsibility rather than weakness.
The country must also continue addressing long standing issues such as dowry, domestic violence, and coercive control within families. Despite legal prohibitions, dowry related violence continues to claim lives every year. Many women continue to face abuse behind closed doors, while many families still experience enormous pressure because of social expectations linked to marriage. These problems require stronger implementation of existing laws, quicker investigations, higher conviction rates where evidence supports prosecution, and greater social awareness.
At the same time, there is also a need to reduce excessive family control over marriage. Adults should be able to make personal decisions without fear of violence, coercion, or social exclusion. Education has an important role to play here. However, education should not be understood merely as literacy or academic qualifications. Real education encourages critical thinking, respect for individual choice, gender equality, empathy, and constitutional values. It helps people question harmful social practices instead of simply accepting them as tradition.
Public policy must also be based on evidence rather than narratives created through social media. Reliable data on crimes against women has helped identify important patterns and policy priorities over the years. At the same time, better data on crimes against men, including domestic abuse, mental health concerns, and other forms of victimisation, would also help policymakers understand the full picture. Good policy emerges from careful evidence, not from isolated incidents or viral debates.
The demand for greater institutional support for male victims, including discussions around a National Commission for Men, should therefore be examined carefully and objectively. Such discussions should focus on identifying genuine gaps in institutional support rather than becoming another arena for gender conflict. Expanding protection for one group should strengthen the overall justice system instead of weakening protections already available to another.
Ultimately, the recent cases involving Atul Subhash, Raja Raghuvanshi, and Ketan Agarwal should remind us of one important lesson. Every individual crime deserves justice, compassion, and a fair investigation. At the same time, no single incident should be used to rewrite our understanding of the larger social reality. Structural violence against women continues to exist and must be addressed with seriousness. Crimes against men also deserve recognition, support, and institutional response. These two realities can exist together without contradicting each other.
The real challenge before India is not choosing between men’s rights and women’s rights. The challenge is building a justice system that protects every individual while also addressing the deeper social structures that continue to produce violence. Patriarchy, caste, endogamy, rigid gender roles, family honour, and unequal social expectations remain powerful forces in everyday life. Unless these forces are confronted through education, legal reform, social awareness, mental health support, and evidence based policymaking, individual tragedies will continue to occur.
A mature society does not respond to every shocking crime by searching for a new enemy. Instead, it asks difficult questions, studies the evidence, and reforms the institutions that shape people’s lives. Justice must never become a competition between men and women. It must remain a commitment to protecting every victim, holding every offender accountable, and creating a society where dignity, equality, and fairness are available to all.
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