How to Build Bridges or Ford Rivers between People who Harbour Diametrically Opposing Views
Nico van Oudenhoven
The world is polarising at a dizzying pace. One may seriously wonder how one can still reach out to the ‘other’ in a meaningful and constructive manner.
Is it even still possible to make a meaningful effort to get a better understanding of their stance in the world, without harming the self-respect of the opposing party or of oneself for that matter? How can one proceed, without ‘giving’ in’ or sacrifice one’s principles?
In the table below, we present a few controversial issues that pertain to the lives of children and young people. In a few bullets, the assumed opinions of our opponents and our own are listed. And then we offer some suggestions as to how some common ground or ‘wriggle space’ could be established.
The word ‘assumed’ is written in italics as it highlights how we operate from an isolated position. Most of what we know about the issues is by hearsay, reading reports, talks with local NGO staff, studies, and, thanks to some rare fortunate moments, direct observation or talks with young people themselves or with their parents.
But we have not actually lived or experienced many of the issues that are being touched upon. This lack of ‘life as we live it’ limits our perception and perspective taking; we will never be able to grasp the total picture.
It could also be viewed as patronising and unwelcome interference. In the table the labels ‘proponents’ and ‘we’ are being used. The ‘proponents’ defend a position that is at odds with ours.
The table is made up of a series of catch phrases, each of which, and this should be stressed, deserves volume-wide treatments. The list could have been longer — or shorter — but is mainly displayed to illustrate ways of how overlap could be created on controversial issues between standpoints strongly held by antagonists.
As it happens, sexuality features prominently on the list. For good reason, as there is probably no other single issue that so strongly divides and unites people, even more so than belief system or ethnic background, certainly so as they pertain to the lives of young people.
We hope that by providing ‘wriggle room’ on controversial issues that pertain to the lives and well-being of boys, girls and young people, a growing mutual understanding, appreciation, and perspective taking will emerge, and with this, a wider and more profound ‘wriggle space’.
Nico van Oudenhoven is the Senior Associate International Child Development Initiatives [ICDI] See: ICDI.nl; Leiden, South Holland, Netherlands
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