Afghan women: STORY OF AN IMMIGRANT

Afghan Women : Story of an Immigrant

Frishta Kargar

I am Frishta Kargar, daughter of Abdullah Kargar. I was born in 1990 in Kabul, Afghanistan– a country that has been a war load country for several decades now. 

I have never, ever considered immigrating. I’ve always wanted to help my people, especially the girls and women who were so far off from education and knowledge. In addition, I have fought to empower women on a daily basis, and I believed Afghanistan will be secure soon.

  I envisioned a vibrant future for my nation; as a result, I’ve worked in a variety of fields. In Turkey, as I was doing my bachelor’s degree- I worked as a volunteer in an immigration office and always supported women and tried to help them in any way I could. 

I returned to Afghanistan after finishing my bachelor’s degree and began working for the Ministry of Finance, where I was immediately concerned about women’s rights. Despite the fact that my area of work was different, I had activities for women. Our team had grown stronger and created many WhatsApp groups to encourage each other through various crises, including the pandemic.

RelatedPosts

UKRAINE: A Vinnytsia Woman’s Story

January 25, 2025

Wind Energy & Solar Panel: Challenge of Using Renewable Energy for a Sustainable Future

January 24, 2025

Taliban Bans Windows in Residential Buildings to Restrict Women’s Visibility!

January 23, 2025

By the time I found myself as a leader for a group of females, where I made numerous masks and distributed hygienic soup and hand sanitizers to individuals who could not afford to provide them for themselves.

Every month, I used to set aside a portion of my salary to pay an elderly man’s rent, a lady whose daughter had cancer, and other people in need. And during Ramadan, I used to collect money from my friends, family, and coworkers to help the people in need.  It gave me such a pleasure to see them happy, and those were the best days of my life. The more individuals I could support, the more meaningful life appeared to me.  

Apart from that, I had social activities such as planting trees every year because after the Taliban regime collapsed in 2001, we lost our green areas and I wanted to see my country green again. I also had a great manor between people and everywhere I could see the respect of people around me. With all of this, I also made my career in Six years.

At first, I was hired as a training program specialist at the Human Resources directorate of Afghanistan Ministry of Finance (MoF), and then I realized that I need to do bigger jobs and be more influential. So, I decided to pursue my master’s degree. I applied to a few programs and eventually got a full scholarship offer from the University of Central Asia in the Republic of Kyrgyzstan.

“Every minute I was imagining the moment Taliban found us and how cruelly they will end our life. I was thinking with myself that If I couldn’t save my children’s lives, what is their sin? Why they have to be punished because of me? Why they have to make the sacrifice even though they don’t know anything about the government or the Taliban? It was really hurting me. My heart was burning, and I couldn’t do anything.”

 Despite passing the exam and being selected, I was not sure how to move forward. Because I had a small baby girl, Smyrna, and I could not leave her behind in Kabul to continue my studies. But thanks to the Aga Khan Development Network and University of Central Asia to let me take my daughter and my mom to help me, I must say at each step of my life my mother was the best supporter of my life.

Sometime I really wanted to give up, was not easy to handle work, study and looking after a baby But then I talked to myself and convinced myself that you have to deal with it, pass these difficult moments of your life then you will get closer to your goals.  

So, it worked and finally I completed my degree successfully, and I felt better-off about my career because I had a bachelor’s degree from one of Turkey’s best universities, where I studied international relations and now I have a  master’s degree in Economic Policy, both of which were relevant to my job.

And my self-confidence grew stronger day by day, and in a short period of time, I was promoted to Senior Specialist with the Bilateral Economic Commissions where I used to deal with economic, trade, transport, health and higher education cooperation between Afghanistan and the regional countries.

I have always chosen to move on and believe in myself. That is why later on I was promoted as director of the office where I first started as a specialist. For me it was like coming my dreams true. In my position as director, I used to negotiate bilateral cooperation topics with the related embassies and my counterparts and all line ministries of Afghanistan. I used to attend meetings with high profile officials inside and abroad. 

But sadly, my dream did not last long and was shattered when everything was taken from me in a single day- when the Taliban took over Afghanistan in matter of just few days. 

Even though I mentioned the above reasons, especially since I started working at the Ministry of Finance, my relations, and communications with the authority of the ministry, the authority of the president’s administrative office, international organizations, diplomatic missions, and non-governmental organizations, and I always took part in various meetings, and I used to lead and organize them to a large extent.

Apart from that, I come from a well-known family of Kargar.  My father served as a military general and intelligence officer, as well as serving as a ministerial advisor to the president (Senior Advisor to the President), before passing away on July 23, 2009.

My cousin brother (Shaker Kargar) served as vice president, Minister of Water and Power, Minister of Commerce and Industries, and Parliament member, ambassador, special envoy, and lastly, he worked as Chief of Staff to the President. Also, my husband Atilla Kargar was working in Bagram with NATO and then he worked as a doctor at the Vice President’s Office. 

Before the collapse of the Afghan government on 15^th August2023, everything was normal, and life was going fine. I had just delivered a baby who was almost two months old, and I was in my maternity vocation, on the same day of the collapse, I went to work with my son to introduce him to my colleagues, attendsome meetings, and instruct them on next month’s tasks.

“With the time passing, my panic was getting more and more and I was feeling hopeless.  Every minute I was imagining the moment Taliban found us and how cruelly they will end our life. I was thinking with myself that If I couldn’t save my children’s lives, what is their sin? Why they have to be punished because of me? Why they have to make the sacrifice even though they don’t know anything about the government or the Taliban?”

I still had one month left of my maternity leave, but I was looking forward to going to work, however, as I was infected with Covid-19 before the delivery and after the delivery I was physically weak so I did not take the risk and go to office. However, I had started work remotely and attended meeting virtually which, my colleagues called me workaholic, but I loved my job. 

When I arrived to work in the morning that day; me and my colleagues were very happy and were talking. It was 11:00am, 15^th of August when I finished some tasks with them, and I noticed from my office window that people were moving to the door, and everyone was in a hurry. I didn’t take it seriously until one of my colleagues came in and asked me to leave as soon as possible. 

I was shocked and started panicking, everyone was running in corridor, and I started following them without taking my belongings. I was rushed out of the office with my baby boy, Mars and called the driver. Fortunately, he was still at the Ministry unlike all the other drivers who already escaped the ministry. When I arrived home, I was notified that the Taliban have taken over Kabul as well.

It was so depressing to learn that my brother, working with the President was still in the office and my husband was outside as well. It was later when we all got together, and we were happy that we were all together. But we could not sleep that night and were talking to our families and friends, and they were all asking us to leave our home because Taliban have already started searching the homes of those who are working with the Government.

As all my family including myself were working with the government and we were very close to Presidential Palace and the main ministries we had no option but leave our home and belonging and save our life. 

We decided to move to my grandmother’s home with some bags and different taxis; I was with my kids and in a very difficult situation; we finally arrived there. I felt a little better; however, we faced another danger; the home we moved was also in a very sensitive area; their neighbors were ministers, and the Taliban had already settled in those homes; it was one of the most terrifying scenes of my life.

When I looked from the hole of window all the Taliban were around and that was the time when I said to myself maybe this is the end of my life, and I started crying and sobbing. I didn’t have any idea what to do next. I was searching how to get out of here and what to do if they enter this home. I saw many countries announced that they will help Afghans.

So, I started to apply as much as I could, but I needed urgent help. We needed to leave Kabul as soon as we could. As I mentioned we were not only working for the government, but we are a well-known family in Afghanistan and rumors would spread out very soon and Taliban would figure out soon that we are hiding. 

With the time passing, my panic was getting more and more and I was feeling hopeless.  Every minute I was imagining the moment Taliban found us and how cruelly they will end our life. I was thinking with myself that If I couldn’t save my children’s lives, what is their sin? Why they have to be punished because of me? Why they have to make the sacrifice even though they don’t know anything about the government or the Taliban?

It was really hurting me. My heart was burning, and I couldn’t do anything. Suddenly, I received a message from Twitter from one of my old friend whom I met during my bachelor studies back at Ege University in Turkey. He texted me in Twitter to check my email and send my all info and asked me to send an email to an email address to a Polish official. I sent an email after a while.

 I received a reply email but because I had sent the previous email from my official email, I thought it is not secure anymore. I apologized that I won’t be able to answer the emails. I asked if I could reach by WhatsApp, and I deleted that email immediately and then my friend told me if I could call him from WhatsApp and told him that I am totally lost. 

My brain does not respond. then when I called and talked to him, he was listening to me carefully and he said that he will contact our ambassador in Poland to explain my situation to him. Fortunately, shortly after the ambassador confirmed that he will call me at 2am Afghanistan time. I called my brother and mom, who were also awake thinking of a rescue plan and said that don’t worry I will help you just give me time.

It is late night here he said after 12hours official time will start and I will talk to the parliament and prime minister office by tomorrow morning. He was nice and hopeful and told me to have patience and let’s hope everything will be fine don’t worry and be strong. I really felt better, it was like an angel just appeared and took my hand.

It was like a miracle and next morning I received messages from another Polish friend although I never met her in my life, she gave me very moral and hope. She was accompanying me from far away. She was saying that you will definitely come here, and my fingers are cross for your and I am praying for your and your family’s safety. However, none of us could sleep and we were waiting for the due time.

He called me exactly at that time and he said we shared your documents to polish embassy in India and they are trying to add you in list. So, get prepare today we have a flight at 3pm you must reach to airport at that time. I had a handbag and put my precious things on it and also our phones too and one small bag only I took some clothes for the kids and their needs.

My mom and my brother also did the same, we found a man to took us to airport from hidden ways finally we got there, and they gave us a journalist’s number to contact how to reach to the polish soldiers. she asked us to go to close to Baran camp in a parking area which some families were collected there to go to Poland. We stayed there one night inside a car until it got morning.

It was around 4 am that we start moving to Airport and entered to the rush of thousands of people. It was a hectic scene and very hard to explain, it was like the sea of people. Everyone was trying to reach to the gates where foreign soldiers were to go out of Afghanistan. We were trying to go forward suddenly Atilla got worst.

He sweated a lot and felt very thirsty, and he needed water; we were looking around to make him feel better someone gave him water and he felt better. 

I was so scared that if he couldn’t survive at this stage of the journey, how we will reach the end of this crowd! After a while same happened to my mom and I got so disappointed. I didn’t have any choice I was praying all the time any verse from Quran came to mind I was repeating them to save us, me and Baktash were stronger than others.

Although I was carrying Mars and feeding him in every 30 minutes but still, I wanted to stand by my feet well. The most tragic time for me was that I saw some kids were dying and some people were losing their self and falling to ground. Some were dying and we didn’t have any option. We couldn’t even help them. I wanted to carry them, I wanted to save them, but we could be one of them too.

Once when a soldier took a baby up and asking who’s this baby, no one was ready to take the baby. I felt so bad. I was crying and crying why we are forced to this condition! It was more than a nightmare in a place my dress stacked to barbed wire still people were pushing me to go forward. If I sat on that place maybe, they would cross me over and Mars but I didn’t fall. 

I put all my power to not fall and thanks to Baktash he came and take himfrom me, and we go forward again. We faced many kinds of distractions as from one side the Taliban were firing and shouting to the crowd and from another side the soldiers were trying to stop the crowd not to cross the area to take the control from both side it was dangerous, and we were frustrated among this. 

I look at Smyrna and she was begging me to take her back home. she was crying and saying mommy let’s go home I’m so scared here please mommy take me home. It really melts my heart. 

I feel so bad, and one thing was rounding on my mind was that it would be better to stay at home rather than risking kids’ life here but we were at the middle of our way out and there were not any other way to go back home.

 How could we pass all this crowd to go back even Atilla was regretting to go back, and he was saying to me let’s go this is the end we can’t survive we will die if we go ahead. But I didn’t respond to anyone. I was still whispering and praying to my god to save us. 

Finally, we reached the destination, and we showed our passports to the soldiers, they said there is no visa how we could take you in. There is more than thousand people who have passport I said. I was begging to the soldier please save us please help us please! 

I told them to check the list and our information and names are written there but they were like there is no list go back don’t waste our time you don’t have any visa and any ID; you are lying us! 

I swore many times to them, but it was like end of everything all my hopes were gone I feel lost, and I was still standing there I didn’t look back even that where is mom and rest of family, I could only see Baktash we were together at this moment a soldier came and he spoke Persian. 

I called him to help and shout “help me” he turned his back to me and said show me what you have. Immediately Baktash showed him relevant messages and all info. He said OK don’t worry you are in the list. That moment was the happiest moment of my life. I was out of my mind. I was not able to walk even a step. I just put myself down and took Mars to him. He took me to other side and said you are safe now, don’t worry.

 I was still very frustrated and crying very much and was pointing my family he said OK sit down. He gave me water and said he will bring them, show me which of them are your family member. I showed him my mom, Smyrna and Baktash but I couldn’t see Atilla. Again, I got panic and run into the crowd back and shouting Atilla… Atilla. The soldier stopped me and asked me to show him my ID, but there were many people.

 I could find Atilla among them, but he didn’t understand English. I was saying that the man with green colored cloth, but he didn’t recognize him at crowd. Finally, I point his own uniform and show him that this color he got me and ask to other guards to let him finally we all were crossed and saved, and they took us to Baran camp of Airport they gave us water and told us that we are safe now. 

 “The most tragic time for me was that I saw some kids were dying and some people were losing their self and falling to ground. Some were dying and we didn’t haveany option. We couldn’t even help them. I wanted to carry them, I wanted to save them, but we could be one of them too. Once when a soldier took a baby up and asking who’s this baby, no one was ready to take the baby. I felt so bad. I was crying and crying why we are forced to this condition! It was more than a nightmare in a place my dress stacked to barbed wire still people were pushing me to go forward.”

When everything was ok, I realized that I lost my handbag which I putted all my precision things like jewelries, phone our cards and all we could survive for future.

Unfortunately I had put my moms and Atilla’s phone there too because all phones were out of charge we used them in two days and I just put it on my bag I didn’t knew that I’ll lost it but luckily Baktash’s phone was with him and then stayed there for a night they gave some food for babies to survive but there were lack of food for adults they apologies from adults but they gave me some bread with milk. 

They got that I’m feeding a baby we spend that night out and the weather was so cold we were sleeping on the grass I had a wrap and wrapped it to kids and myself until morning. I was blowing to make them warm and hugging them tight, rest of the people walking around to warm up exercises to keep themselves warm. 

The weather was cold and moisture. It was getting colder until 4 am. I am sure no one could sleep that day so early at morning the guards came and woke up every one and put us on two line they count us and they wrote some numbers with some signs they marked us and slowly we move from there to another park.

Exactly on that time Mars start crying because most of time he used to sleep on that time and sometimes when he wakes up I used to sing him the babies song from nowhere that song round on my mind and I start to sing it slowly like whispering at his ears and he calmed down he got that he is in safe hands I feel that my face get wet again and again every moment was full of emotions and my hopes were getting more but still until we didn’t reach I was not believing that this trip will happen because we were still in the airport.

We could still hear the fire sounds of Taliban by the way we start moving we were 99 people with kids, and we reach to a place we stopped there for some while that again count us and put other marks after some while some buses come, and they took us in another area ok that place they registered us, and we wait there for some hours.

They feed us and we get fresh a little bit more and again the buses come at was like noon and we went to take the flight they put us in two military aircraft’s although it was not comfort and had very noise, I realize that everyone got asleep I feel that everybody take a breath like I do and happy that finally they are flying and they got chance to save their life.

In three hours maybe we arrived at Uzbekistan Novoyi Airport and they test our corona virus in case if somebody have, during this period of time I have forgotten about the COVID-19 and another problem we waited there for some hour last night we were dying from cold this time it was at the middle of airport no shadow nothing and the sun was over our head and we were burning us we wait there until they check the 99 people test and results.

They are also the checked our documents if we have passport or Tazkira ( Afghan National ID card ) anything that prove us and when they finished, we wait for fuel for Air Poland. 

We were watching it and everyone was excited to go into this airplane then finally this wait ended and we moved to the airplane I was feeling very strange like I have lost myself many years in jungle and haven’t seen anything in my life when the hostess ask me what you want to drink my answer was I want tea, coffee, water, juice and anything you have.

She laughed at me said ok sure I was lack of everything all the way I try to take nap but when I closed my eyes everything was coming like a movie to my head the plan landed to Georgia and it remind the time when I first going to study to Turkey it was also at military aircraft on that time I also wanted to study and make my career and then it flied again and we came to Warsaw Poland finally and after checking we all set in a Bus and arrived to a Camp.

 They gave us a room with 5 beds on it. It was like dormitory. It had kitchen and bathroom under the room and also the beds were kind of bunks, and they showed a very nice hospitality. They provided us with primary needs like hygiene soup, shampoo diaper and a bed to Mars too. We just put ourselves to bed and slept.

In the morning the door was knocked, and they brought us breakfast until quarantine ended, they provide two times meal to all of us.

We finally were safe and had a deep breath, but we didn’t have anything to wear. I washed my clothes and wrap a blanket to myself and stayed until it got dried and wore it again, but the rest of my family couldn’t do it because the weather was rainy, and the clothes won’t get dried easily. We didn’t have anything to wear.

The day after I met my Polish friends (who are my closer than family members now) with their friends came to visit us for the first time, when I saw them, I felt like I knew them since many years. We were not allowed to meet them closely. They were staying on other side of wires due to COVID-19 restrictions. We were all quarantined for two weeks. 

I still remember how She took my hands and gave the confidence that we are in safe hands, and I feel calm and very satisfied for seeing them. They gave unnecessary things to eat and toys to Smyrna and many snacks. The most important part was the clothes they brought to all of us. Even though, they came from long distance; they traveled three hours to reach us out.

We happily wore them and get rid of that war clothes and after quarantine Elvira provided us a car and a hotel to stay when we were leaving the camp after long time, we see the beauty of nature and everywhere were looking very beautiful and peaceful. I have been enjoying the beauty of Poland now. 

It is a beautiful country, and it was my first time to be in Europe, although I had visited many countries like China, India, Maldives, Dubai, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan and many more but never had been to Europe.

We arrived at Warsaw and settled to Arche hotel it was very beautiful and our package was all included and had a beautiful bed, and the hospitality was awesome after a while our friends came to visit us and we had great time with them some friends brought a baby stroller to Mars and clothes to Smyr with many toys which really helps us in our daily life.

We were searching for a home and checking the prices which are really very high and out of our amount and we were concerning how to do next day we met another cool friend Katerzyna, was about to sell her apartment, but she stopped because of us and gave us her apartment without pay until we got settled. 

There are many peoples whom involved to help and support us. those whom we haven’t met before. Now I have a Polish mom Beata and bother Andrzej whom they helped me from the beginning and yet. 

They are all miracle of my life. After some days we shifted there, and the support of the team never ended; everyday all of them try to help us with stuffs we need. We found the chance to meet the whole family members of our Polish friends. We are forming our new family here. We are very happy here. Smyrna also started kindergarten with friend’s help. Now she is going to school and Mars started kindergarten at the same place,

Frishta Kargar: Immigration Specialist at GES DELOITTE Poland and former director of Bilateral Economic Commissions at Ministry of Finance, Islamic Republic of Afghanistan

Images from different sources

Mahabahu.com is an Online Magazine with collection of premium Assamese and English articles and posts with cultural base and modern thinking.  You can send your articles to editor@mahabahu.com / editor@mahabahoo.com (For Assamese article, Unicode font is necessary)