“Fret not where the road will take you. Instead concentrate on the first step. That’s the hardest part and that’s what you are responsible for. Once you take that step let everything do what it naturally does and the rest will follow. Do not go with the flow. Be the flow.”
Forty rules of love- Elif shafak
What is to be a woman? It’s an uncomplicated answer yet challenging. Deplore the gender biases and the true idea behind breathing womanhood since we pledged to celebrate women’s day every year to console the idea that women today are ahead of the century.
Even today, things that concern many are how to live in the same house with a harasser, give up the freedom of speech, freedom of choice as a myth, and be in the bouquet of prejudice since birth. There is so much to the picture that we never bother to look upon. Besides, blaming her for being cranky and expecting to be composed at the same time. Isn’t this the irony of every homemaker?
No doubt she can be grumpy with all the pressure she goes through in every step of her life. From her first menstrual cycle to pregnancy, women suck all their pain as destiny. Soaking emotional upheaval to smiling even at the worst. They are the one best at hiding, because most often they end up being judged. Time is changing, so are we. But there are still cases where such incidents of underlying womanhood exist.
A week ago, I wrote a poem depicting my present mental and emotional health. And, while I was peeking inside my inner soul trying to figure out where I stand as a woman of 26 years old and yet looking to be found spiritually. Who am I? A daughter, a sister, a lover, or an ambitious woman chasing her wild dreams, but it’s so difficult for her sometimes because, for her, false hope and disappointments never let her down.
The question is, why do we let someone else decide our fate? Is it because not every woman is born with privileges and the courage to face her fears? Or are we still fighting feminism in our culture? Why aren’t we morally built that way to resist setbacks and be happy?
We all owe an apology to ourselves for being so selfish and unkind.
For loving someone else more than we did to ourselves.
And, for not understanding the fact that,
This is why they left, and you were vulnerable.
I, too, wished I had spent more time with myself and less with those who significantly contributed to my emotional drain by the time I was 25.
But what to explain the expected privileged that,
Traumas are subtle, unexplainable, and remain hidden.
Besides asking the obvious question, why did you give me another one?
We all owe an apology to one another for not being each other’s support and quiet.
For uttering words of hatred and disownment, for not loving ourselves.
And we are investing less time in healing.
But be hopeful, forgive and smile because that’s what a woman does.
–Parismita
I still have a lot of questions. Are we still fighting feminism, gender rights, or social prejudices? However, we have lawfully entered the 21st century, yet for some things never changed. Let’s take the example of my neighborhood uncle, who still looks at my tattooed arms and comments on my dress. Something still doesn’t feel right about this era filled with people who still aren’t ready to mend their understanding of morality; that women and modernity can be solitary.
Now, what makes a woman? Is it biology, the chemical imbalances her body undergoes, or the human externalities suffice? To be a woman is a synonym of a million words. The whole cycle of trauma repeats in itself. Only a few are blessed in the subpoena. Fall in love, get married, sacrifice your job to raise kids while your husband remains on the track. You might get postpartum depression as well and never recover from it.
But, the approach we adopt is often undecorated as; suffering is strength. Therefore, It is not about the unrivaled social, political, or economic upliftment and well-being of women. Psychology and physiology are important concerns of all time. How do we regularly keep a regular check on the woman of your house that she is not hiding any feelings under her warm sheets?
“The imagination falters under the enormous strain.”
–Virginia Woolf
Current day scenarios are discrete; my friend once shared her experience with the man she was dating. He never stopped taunting her about past incidents of her life notwithstanding, he was a saint. While some men are so dominating that girls tend to credit the proposition of Kabir Singh’s ideology. Though, not all men are the same, and not all women. We are talking about a progressive society that also carries the essence of our culture, tradition, values and custom.
So, this women’s day, we must teach and spread about self-love and how it is important to survive the dessert of unbridled hopes. Take time to listen to the women in your family, make an effort to feel their emotions, give that space and let her enjoy the little of true womanhood. Make her feel safe to lay down, sing around, dance in joy, write in peace or even cry. Let her be.
Wishing all women out loud to all women a cheery epoch in 2022!
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